I belong to me

Where do we belong? Are we supposed to live our lives alone or with someone else? Or could it be something from the middle of those options? 

I really have no clue, where I belong. I just know, that I want to share my life with my other half. With someone who’s willing to share his life with me. I could have a home in some countryside, even in another counrty than Finland. I could spend my life sailing the seas, digging the dirt or just hanging around. I’m happy as long as I’m not bored. I’m at home, as long as I’m with you. 

I know there’s people who want to share their lives with their other half. They just cannot live under the same roof. They need their own space, own silence. Their own safetyplace. It’s not about not loving. It’s not about not wanting to share their lives. It’s about independency. Or some other situation in their lives. I’m happy if they are. Just the fact, I’m not like that. 

I need to wake up beside my love one. I want to fall asleep in to his arms. Feel and hear the breath. Share the rooms. I can hide, I can take my time and run away for a day (or two). But still, I’d be partly empty if not sharing the same house. It’s not about owing someone. It’s about the feeling. It’s all about the need for a close family. 

There are days I have no words left. Days when I just sit and cry how I’m longing the feeling of beloning somewhere. Just one little sentence and I’d be running towards you (maybe a little more). When there’s a will, there’s a way, but still holding on a wish ain’t the way of living. You must know. I need to know. 

At the moment I think I belong with me. With my own four walls, with the hyper thoughts of everything. I want to belong to somewhere else as well, but it’s not only up to me. I don’t feel safe, but at least I feel I’m alive. Just like it should feel.

Where do you belong?